nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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