You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
