Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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