im holly from the hills drunk
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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