He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
