If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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