It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
