just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
