super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
