I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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