Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize