she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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