Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize