this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
