i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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