I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
