Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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