My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
