Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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