Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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