In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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