Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
