he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google imaged poop.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
