I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize