i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
