Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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