he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And then he peed in my hair
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