This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
