Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
