yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
