I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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