Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
