I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
