I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
