garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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