They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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