Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
