Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
