I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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