i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
