I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So many bounce houses so little time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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