i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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