Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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