Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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