Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Panties = found
Randomize
