I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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