I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
