You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
