Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
