i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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