I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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