There was a lot of him and a little penis
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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