Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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