I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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