glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize