it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
