I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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