You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
