I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He has the fingertips of a God
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