Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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