The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize