Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this will be a night to untag.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
