...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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