Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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